*I write this from the warm side of my parents guest room queen size bed. If I stretch my toes across the middle, I find cold sheets where the warmth of my husband should be. He's currently sleeping on an air mattress in Davenport, likely wishing he could just sleep in a bed.
*I have finally moved home from Iowa. It hasn't sunk in yet; right now it just feels like I'm visiting family. It's odd, knowing I won't likely cross the I-74 bridge and greet the Mississippi until Josh's graduation in February. I enjoyed living by that river; we rarely did activities that the river factored into, but something in my heart felt welcomed, warmed even, by the brown waters.
*I am thankful for tow trucks. Big, strong ones. Ones that can pull your fully loaded Uhaul truck out of mud ruts in the yard- so you can start your trip without unloading your possessions and reloading them in a different truck. (Note here: AAA does not cover Uhaul. Just a handle tidbit of information for your future life.)
*I was not raised on a farm, but they call to me. The drive to Indiana felt like coming home. I enjoyed each cow visible from the road, savored the barns and fields. Even more compelling, the symphony of fall colors in the trees lining the roads and fields. I spoke aloud as I reached the crest of a hill and saw sunlit fields embraced by the beauty of fall trees- "Oh Lord, how magnificent!"
*I am curious about people who honk their car horns at others due to impatience. I have no problems with horns and use it on the occasion another driver does not see me. It's a warning, "I am here!" At a toll booth, I was beeped at (there was also some arm waving involved) because I was going slowly. After waving apologetically as he angrily passed me, I began to wonder if the abrasive personality he was showing in his driving was who he truly is. When did it become okay to get so angry over 20 seconds of patience? When did our society become so self-obsessed that an tiny inconvenience required a physical demonstration of anger?
*God has been flooding my life with awareness of Himself. I have had to learn to trust God's plan and care for me as the knowledge I would move to IN without Josh slowly sunk in. At first I compulsively, almost maniacally, kept track of Josh's required hours and strategized plans for him to earn more. Slowly, slowly, I felt God chipping away at my self-reliance. Quietly He reminded me to trust His plan. Surrender is the road I chose long ago. I choose it again. Minute by minute. Tears ran down my face as my husband drove away today, but inside I also knew peace. Know peace. And I will rest under the watchful eye of our Almighty God.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Comin' at ya like a whirlwind
As TobyMac quite aptly put it,
"Comin' at ya like a whirlwind
A hundred miles an hour's where we'll begin."
This keeps running through my brain. Not just because it's a classy reminder of my youth (makes me sound old to say that), but because said phrase describes the last few weeks and the coming as well. In two days, I'm taking my son and we're leaving Iowa to live with my parents. I realize that sounds like I'm leaving Josh, and I am, but it's not like that! :) Josh is coming to the end of his time at Palmer and is hoping to complete an internship in Indiana while we live with my parents in their sweet basement apartment. However, he still has some clinic requirements to complete before he can move. (The lessons God has been teaching me through all his clinic requirements, such as patience, trust, and not killing people, should be a different blog entirely.) So, we were planning on living in Iowa until he finished his requirements, BUT... our lease is up the end of October and our landlady doesn't want to do month to month. So, Malachi and I are off to Indiana and my dear, sweet, wonderful husband has to stay here and bunk with friends on a futon.
And it breaks my heart.
I'm a pathetic moper when Josh isn't around. Like, I go to visit family by myself but in reality I just want to be home, snuggling with my hubby or playing together with Malachi. So honestly, it will probably be good for my growth to have to miss him and live without him for a while. A good time to work on myself and my relationships with others. And for sure, it will cause spiritual growth as the Lord will be the only one I can talk to as I fall asleep in a lonely bed in a lonely basement. (I have mentioned to Josh that I may just go upstairs and crawl in bed with my parents. They have a king size- it's doable right???)
SO, right now I need to go finish packing. Tonight we're having some man people stop by to help carry some of our heavy stuff (read washer, drier, deep freezer, treadmill, dressers) from the basement and 2nd floor to the garage- where it will be much easier to load from tomorrow using my not manly muscles. And tomorrow we say goodbye to our friends of the last 3 years. And then I leave the place that was Josh and my first hometown. The place we learned what marriage truly was. Where we started our family. And it would be a good thing, if only I could take my husband with me.
(*Extra: If you are reading this and pity me, please go see Josh for chiro adjustments. He needs the numbers. Or pray for him to get his numbers quickly. Or do both. Yes, that's the best option.*)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)